Yep, you heard me. A second one.

See, about a week after his first surgery, I noticed the tiniest of grooves on the other side of his mouth in relatively the same spot as the last one. I kept an eye on it and it seemed to be getting bigger so I brought him to the local dentist. Unfortunately, we didn’t get to see Dr. W and ended up seeing a different dentist who didn’t have the best bed side manner but did know her stuff. She immediately referred us to Dr. P (formerly known as Dr. P², since the original Dr. P is out of the picture).

So Tuesday, we trekked up to Newnan and stayed in a hotel (graciously provided by my in-laws) where we watched Hell’s Kitchen, The Nanny and otherwise enjoyed a short break from home. Since Noah couldn’t have anything to eat or drink after midnight for the procedure the next morning, we were trying to avoid having to drive him up to Newnan while hungry AND tired AND fussy. Noah did relatively well that night, sleeping a solid six hours without wanting to nurse, which is pretty unusual for him. I did pump him full of squash and applesauce before I brushed his teeth and gave him a good nursing and I hope it helped. Whatever did it, he slept through and we got him to the clinic.

When we got there, we waited a good thirty minutes before they got us to the back where one of the dental assistants tried to tell me that a predisposition to cavities just couldn’t be genetic and that it HAD to be the breastmilk that was causing Noah’s teeth to get cavities. While I can say that he doesn’t need to nurse all night or all day long without having his teeth brushed, I can’t say I agree that I should suddenly switch to cow’s milk because someone without a dental degree says so. She also couldn’t get through to her head which tooth had the issue and kept asking if the “filling” (his crown) came out, so I’m sure you can imagine why I am skeptical of anything she had to say to me.

Anyway, when Dr. P saw his teeth, she confirmed that he had two brand new cavities. Thankfully they were pretty small since we had caught them so early (score one for vigilant mommy, finally!) and said he didn’t need the Versed to be sedated for the procedure (so we starved our kid for 8 1/2 hours because…?). Not that I want to put anything into Noah’s body that is unnecessary so we were thankful – at first.

She swore that the papoose board would be the best choice, as it would take longer with Joshua holding him (squirmy) so I went against all of my natural gut instincts, personal fears and intelligent thought and agreed to try it that way. What I didn’t know, until they had already started, was that they weren’t going to give my little baby boy ANY numbing medicine whatsoever! Both fillings were done within five minutes or I would have raised far more hell but I will tell you, I will never. ever. ever subject my son to that again. Parents that are reading this and are debating on using the papoose board on a toddler without sedatives or pain medicine – DON’T! It’s traumatic for the parents and it isn’t easy even for our resilient toddlers who scream for five minutes while a stranger puts them through pain (necessary procedure or not). Since Noah is so young, I don’t expect him to remember any of it and after a nap he was back to his normal, sunny self but I can’t forget the way he was sobbing in my arms after I yanked him out of that stupid papoose board. And I mean yanked – as soon as they scooted back and said they were done, I was ripping the velcro apart and scooping him into my arms.

I trust Dr. P as far as knowing her stuff. I know she did a good job and this visit was a huge contrast with the other one, where he needed a tooth extraction and a crown. With that one (I’ve already written this much so I may as well keep going), we went to Newnan the night before, where Noah woke up every two hours wanting to nurse. I think he fell asleep on the hotel floor three times and I would promptly move him to the bed. That was a fine night…not.

That time they got him in within two minutes, weighed him and then gave him a carefully measured dose of Versed. Within twenty minutes, he was giggling and snuggly and trying to play with his car and ball but not really able to grip well. Within forty-five minutes of being given the dose, he was about to fall asleep and actually did so in the assistant’s arms as we were made to leave the room. They extracted his tooth (I need to get a picture of this posted, actually – yes, I kept the tooth) and put a crown on the tooth next to it to prevent any cavities or weakness. He woke up screaming for mommy (mostly because he was around strangers) and immediately went to nurse. Within a few hours he was back to normal and within 48 hours he was mostly healed up. It was nerve-wracking for me but not traumatic for any of us in the least.

So, you know, two entirely different experiences and I can say that I preferred the first one, though I preferred the lack of severity of the second (fillings versus extraction). I’m not entirely thrilled with Dr. P’s practice anymore but since we’re leaving, I don’t think it will be an issue. The reason has a lot to do with how she handled the fillings but also that, though she claims she is a “big proponent of breastfeeding”, she did everything she could do get me to wean Noah. First it was about night-weaning. Then it was about weaning during the day. Then it was about sippy cups (we’ve told her he’s already using sippy cups and have done for a year now but she insinuated we must not be).

Her dental assistants also don’t know that breastfeeding is a clear liquid and actually cautioned me against breastfeeding Noah after the first procedure because “dairy would mess up his tummy”. Mind you, I don’t expect dentists to know an excessive amount about breastfeeding but I do expect a pediatric dentist to at least be aware of the current recommendations by the AAP and WHO, as well as the basics in regards to the infants in their care (clear liquids, not dairy, etc).

Maybe my mama bear side has just come out and I’m protective of my son. It’s also no secret that I’m a lactivist at heart…but I just can’t understand why someone would choose to work with infants and young children and not take the time to learn simple facts about other important areas of their health. Maybe I’m wrong to expect that much…but I don’t think so.

Whatever the case may be, I’m just happy Noah is happy and healthy.

I rarely do meta tags or keywords but since this entry may help other parents, I am.
Keywords: toddler teeth, versed, sedation, dental work, pediatric dentistry, papoose board, breastmilk, breastfeeding, sippy cups, cavities, fillings, crowns, weaning, grooves in baby teeth

However, I’m not going to write about that tonight. I’m not going to describe the delicious BBQ chicken we had for dinner or the movie we watched. I’m just going to rant.

There is a reason I practice Attachment Parenting. I might complain and whine and vent about how crazy Noah makes me when he’s all “MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY” *cling* but the truth is, I love how close we are. I firmly believe that by giving him a secure foundation as a baby/young child, he will grow up to be a strong, independent adult. My mother practiced Attachment Parenting with me, though she didn’t call it that (I think she just called it “mothering” or “being a parent” – what a novel concept.) and I’ve always been fairly independent. Whatever “issues” I have stem from my parent’s divorce and subsequent bickering…usually on my father’s part, God rest his soul. Because of my own experiences, I hope that by passing on the mother/child (or father/child, as Joshua has an equally important role in Noah’s upbringing as I do) bond to my son, he will have the same confidence when he is older.

One of the most important aspects of AP is to provide “consistent loving care.” What this means is mostly open to interpretation – every parent is going to parent differently, even those under the same umbrella. For me, it means that I respond to my son when he needs me. As a baby, I didn’t let him cry anywhere but in someone’s arms (usually mine). I wore him when we went out so that he would feel the comforting warmth of my body and be securely wrapped in a sling, like he was in the womb. Even now, I carry him when I’m exhausted and my arms are burning because he wants me to. I don’t think he’s manipulating me or that he’s being spoiled…if he wants something he can’t have, I say no and I put it away. Sometimes he’ll throw a fit and that’s okay. It is never, EVER, okay for him to throw a fit because he wants to be held and someone won’t hold him. I get angry when I see a child crying that obviously just wants a kiss and a cuddle but Caregiver is too “busy” or “can’t be bothered.” I hate hearing “oh they’ll be fine” when a toddler wants to be held. They are just babies, really…not three or four year-olds that have learned to self soothe, can walk and even articulate what they are feeling. Why should I, as a mother, deny my child the comfort of my arms? For that matter, I expect the same of anyone that watches Noah…and as far as I know, his Nana and YaYa (so far, Noah’s only sitters) abide by this. Joshua certainly does.

Not that we’re perfect. If I am frustrated enough, I will sometimes put Noah in his playroom, which is completely safe, and walk away for a minute. I will leave him in the seat of the grocery basket for a few extra minutes if he fusses at me because it gets us through the grocery list faster and that means we can just go home and get him in bed. I even let him have independent play! A lot of it! Because he enjoys it!

But I never, ever, let him scream and cry for his mama or dada if I can help it because right now is just so important. Some people argue that if something does happen to Mom or Dad, then all of this “security” is worthless. However, I don’t think so. As long as I am on this earth, Noah will always have me. If I’m not on this earth, that situation changes – obviously – but there is no need to prepare him for the latter until he gets older. Just like I don’t live every day in constant fear that I will die, I don’t raise my son to worry that I won’t be around…because I am. Does that make sense?

I don’t judge people for their parenting choices. I don’t really care if someone formula feeds, but I’ll gently encourage a new mother to breastfeed. I don’t really care if you cloth diaper or use disposables (though I’ll show you how cute a cloth diaper can be!). I don’t even care if you feed your kid a month or two early…though I might tell you about open gut first (just in case). I do, however, feel strongly about being there for your child. Responding to them. They might be learning tricks to manipulate you but it isn’t going to be because they want to be held – that’s just called communication.

Now excuse me while I go snuggle my son who is asleep on my arm and watch Hell’s Kitchen.