Besides, when I moved out here for Joshua, I knew I wouldn’t want to retire here or stay forever. I like it just fine – small towns have their charms, especially this one – but I don’t like the school district or the extreme isolation (The Pioneer Woman would laugh her tush off at me right about now if she were to read this – as if). Moving away was inevitable and this way, we can get back on our feet and let my family enjoy some time with Noah while he’s young. I know that I’ve been worried that my grandmothers wouldn’t bond with him appropriately (though it seems they already did) and I’ve been worried for my mom, who has been in quite a bit of emotional pain that she couldn’t see Noah grow up this past year and a half but now that will change.

However, money, or rather the lack thereof, is our primary driving force. Joshua and I don’t seek to be rich. We simply want to be debt-free and stable. There is scripture about how you cannot serve two masters and I do feel that debt sometimes gets in the way of my relationship with God. (Most of the time its my beef with certain “holes” in scripture but I’m working on those.) I long for the day that I can save up for a purchase without feeling the niggling guilt that the money should go towards paying off a credit card.

Anyway, before I ramble on like I usually do, there is my update. If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you’ll probably be spammed with my pingback links. Sorry. You should know better than to follow me. ;-)

My excitement hasn’t really dampened today. If anything, I’m more excited because I’m thinking of all the things we can DO. I’ll have a church again, for one. My walk with God was always stronger when I went to Wilcrest. Even if they’ve changed, it’ll be a place to reconnect with my Christian roots. I also know they have a fabulous children’s program, which is majorly important.

And Mom. Spending time with Mom is so important to me right now because I just don’t know how much time we’ll have left. She’s not that young anymore. She isn’t old, not by a long shot, but 51 isn’t a teenager, either. I want this time with her while I have it.

And Gregory. I have so much I want to teach him and time I want to spend with him. I have a lot of regrets that I need to make up for. And he’s so excited about being an uncle that I want him to enjoy some time with that while Noah is still itty bitty.

And my grandparents. All of them. I talked to my grandmother today and she was practically crying tears of joy at the mere IDEA of spending time with Noah or going to his second birthday party. Or spending Thanksgiving with me for the first time in ten years.

And then there is work. I am actually excited about the prospect of working outside of the house because I know Noah will be in capable hands (Shannon is more than capable but she’s a scenic 30 minutes away in the opposite direction of any job). With both of us working and free babysitting, we would be on our feet in no time!

And the idea of living in HOUSTON, next to everything, with my cousins and friends surrounding us…I wouldn’t have to be a recluse anymore. I could go do stuff! Picnics in the park during the Spring and a multipass to the zoo and museums and Metrorail and holy crap I’m about to explode with happiness.

This might not work. This very well could not work. But I don’t care because I am enjoying the reprieve from the depression, no matter how long it lasts.

I don’t blog this much in one week anymore. My livejournal gets used daily now, because I feel like what I say has no merit and I’m kind of ashamed to put it up publicly.

But, my mom reads this blog. She tells me this every time we talk. She asks me about my day and then about the entry I wrote and about how much she loves the pictures I post of Noah. Do you know how awesome that is?

My mother is the sole reason I am even proficient with computers at all. For a woman who cannot really navigate her way around and needs to be reminded how to check her email (sorry Mom, but you know it’s true!) by her ten-year-old son, she really did a good job in setting me up to be so computer savvy. She made sure I had internet connections and she trusted me with our ancient computer (lovingly named Ernie, as my friend had named hers Bert), and she paid $10/month for webhosting (ouch) just so I could fiddle with bold, italic and strikethroughs. She trusted me while I surfed the web, encouraged me when I thought my websites stunk and overall just told me how proud she was of me.

And now she reads my blog. This, for some reason, is some of the BEST encouragement I could ever get. I actually came here to write an entry about how down I was about my site and how I really wanted to work on it but I had no motivation and no muse (my amazing husband and son inspire me to live my life, which is a pretty major task in and of itself). I was going to be depressed and down and just overall really whiny but then I remembered what my mom said to me today.

She likes my blog!

I guess I better burn her that CD of pictures that she’s been asking me for. Oops.

Password: ndb0112

Being in Houston is incredible. My mom welcomed us with open arms and is truly a wonderful grandmother. Noah just loves her to bits. She plays with him, lets him have what he wants (within reason) and she even asks me if it’s okay before she gives him something to eat! *love* She doesn’t care that he throws stuff on the ground and she is brilliant at baby proofing on the fly. There wasn’t even an adjustment period before Noah started jumping into her arms. Some people say it’s because she’s my mother and she must look like me but that’s not it…we don’t look alike, anyway. She’s just open and friendly and funny and wonderful and I love my mother. It will break my heart when it’s time to go.

Friday was a day for being reunited. Mom looks the same – I don’t know how she keeps her youth but she does. Gregory looks older, taller, and it’s hard for me because I still think of him as a little kid. I have to remember that when I was 10, I was already incredibly independent but that’s not how I see him. He’s probably sick of me smothering him. =P My stepdad is growing his hair out and even though I won’t say it to his face, (must keep up my tough facade), it looks good on him. Alexa, my cousin, even came over to meet Noah. About a week ago she asked me if he was shy and I just laughed…my little flirt? Shy? Hah! And I was so right…he loved the attention. My grandparents came over and my grandfather (“Papi”) fell IN LOVE with Noah. He even started scolding me because Mom’s house wasn’t babyproofed yet, haha. I love my Papi.

Saturday, I met my uncle’s “new” wife (new to me) and got to meet her daughter. They were so nice! Unfortunately, they’re flying out to Peru today so I am not spending much time with them but hopefully we can get together before we leave for Georgia. Then Gregory, Joshua, Noah and I hung around watching movies while Mom went to my new aunt’s (I can’t spell her name yet…hah) baby shower. I was supposed to go but my Spanish really isn’t good enough and I would be kind of on my own. It’s weird, looking to Mom to translate everything I say for me. I understand Joshua’s side of it now… =P Well, okay, I partially understand…I still understand everything that is said to me, which is quite impressive. I thought I had lost it all.

Unfortunately, we didn’t get to eat dinner out like we had planned because Mom got lost on her way to the shower but that’s all right. We may do so tonight! =D I wasn’t sure whether or not to have a Joshua & Lynn dinner or family dinner but I think it’ll be all three of us. Noah would probably get a kick out of Pappadeaux.

Today we are going to go see my aunt Rebeca and cousins and meet Alexa’s boyfriend, Mike, who is in from PA. I’m so excited! I can’t believe I’m surrounded by so much love and family and friendship like this. Joshua’s parents have always welcomed me as a second daughter and for that, I am grateful, but there is nothing like the love of your own mother surrounding you. She and I are still incredibly close, too, which is refreshing. Mom treats me like the adult that I am, but still likes to baby me in little ways…the kind that make you feel like you’re at home, you know? Stroking my hair as she walks past…picking a movie to rent that she knows I’ll like… making sure that there is Sprite in the fridge because I’m a hopeless addict. Stuff like that.

God, I am so happy.

Keep an eye on the photoblog. I’m going to be doing a massive picture post when we get back tonight. ;-)