Warning: this entry is bound to be all over the place. I’m in that kind of mood.

First off, Noah is really impressive. He is like a sponge lately with the way he soaks in all these new words and tricks. We watched The Babysitter’s Club together and he started making "shh chh shh" noises to his finger like they do in the movie. Then he started spinning around in circles while he walks, just because it’s fun. He’s imitating our sentences and words and it’s just incredible to watch the concentration on his face as he learns something new. Today, specifically, he learned how to make his pop up toy work (he couldn’t grasp the switch concept before).

And coloring! I really thought, when I handed him his first crayons at Longhorn, that he would just try to eat them. I was completely surprised and proud when he attempted to make marks on the paper in front of him. I was completely blown away even more recently when I bought him a box of crayons and he not only showed interest but seeks out and requests to color. Unfortunately, he likes to color on anything white, which means our fridge and wall, too. *sigh*

I am no longer worried about his hearing. He makes it obvious that he can hear us but he’s deliberately ignoring when we say his name so he can continue doing his thing. His language eruption further cements my idea that there is nothing wrong. I’d still like to take him to an ENT but I don’t think it’s so imperative that we need to drive 4-6 hours both ways. We’d be better off going to Houston! At least that way we’d be able to see an ENT and my family, yes?

I feel like I am more in control of my life again. Not the kind of control where I’m afraid to let God take over but at least to the point where I’m not sure if I’m coming or going or sleeping or awake or going to eat in an hour or five hours…catch my drift? The schedule I have tried to set up for Noah has made a huge difference for me as well. I don’t like to live by the clock but I do like to live in time increments and knowing that I have a certain amount of time allotted for "x" makes it a lot easier to get to "y" and then some. I find that I am sleeping better, even though Noah insists on increasing his nightly nursings (aren’t they supposed to slow down by now?). I even find that my depression has lifted, somewhat, because I am guaranteed to see a bit of sunlight every day.

It also helps that Joshua and I are rock solid lately. That doesn’t mean we don’t fight – we do – but it does mean that I feel secure in the knowledge that he loves me and cares for me and doesn’t need another woman but me. I feel the same towards him. He’s all the man I could ever need (or handle). Besides, why would I give up a man who cooks (amazingly well), cleans, does dishes because he knows I hate to, does laundry because it helps me AND is good in…well, you know what I mean. ;-)

Unfortunately, even though we both clean and take care of Noah and generally share in all the work, I’m finding it difficult to get past where we’re at with some things (being deliberately ambiguous here). It seems like I am constantly maintaining instead of getting better and I’d like to figure out a way around it. Noah’s playdates at his Nana’s house have been a huge help because I can typically do things that Noah won’t let me do (Noah likes my constant attention, which I am more than willing to give, but this interferes with certain chores…parents, you know what I mean). The thing is, these playdates are a little difficult for me because I miss him so much when he’s gone. Once a week is good for my sanity though, it is, and I know his Nana loves having him over. The three of us went there yesterday (even though this will be posted on Sunday, I’m writing this on my "Saturday") and we had a blast. Noah got to play, Nana got Noah-time and I didn’t miss out on my little one. She’ll get tons of him this summer though as I plan for us to go down there and hit the beach pretty often. I even bought a bathing suit (gasp!). I never buy bathing suits, especially not one pieces, but I can’t wear bikinis anymore because the product of a petite woman carrying a not-so-petite baby is, well, stretchmarks. And they ain’t pretty (though I do find them beautiful).

Whoo. Slow down Lynn. Point is, I bought a bathing suit and an Imse Vimse swim diaper for Noah (I’ll let you know how it works out) and we’re going to have tons of fun in the water this summer.

Anyway, my goal for tomorrow is to get the bathroom spotless again. There’s a lot of little things that need to be done (you know what I mean, don’t lie) and then regular maintenance like mopping that I need to get my butt into gear on. I suppose I could go get started right now, since Noah is asleep, but then I couldn’t blog. (Obviously I have my priorities in order.) I’m kind of looking forward to it though. I find a sick pleasure in turning messy areas clean… which is why I really can’t understand why our apartment is so cluttered. Too much stuff, I guess. Too much sentimental stuff, to be specific, so it’s not like I can just chunk it.

I should go do something else. This entry is long enough as it is. *hits publish*