Today – well, yesterday – was just lovely. Noah went with his Nana and Auntie Sarah (We’re shooting for “YaYa” as a nickname.) to shop for groceries and so I had four incredibly blissful hours. It makes me feel so guilty to admit that but I did miss him. I always miss him. I just really enjoyed some time where I had no real obligations except to get groceries done sometime in that four hour period. Saturday was a little different because I HAD to clean and I HAD to get stuff done. Today I could have sat on my butt and surfed the internet if I wanted to, as long as I got groceries.

So…when he left at 8:30 in the morning, Joshua and I spent some much needed time together. Then I headed out to Goodwill where I bought two practically brand-new CDs for $2 each. I never get music for myself because I can’t fathom $10 on a CD (to be fair, I can’t bring myself to spend $10 on an $18 diaper even though Noah needs it…so you see how my mind works) even though I encourage Joshua to do so…and even encourage him to get music I like. ;-) Point is, despite all of my rambling: I got two new CDs for $4.28. Yay!

Then I wandered around Publix, which is in the same parking lot, and wondered what is wrong with my brain that makes me go “Ooo, nice looking chicken breasts and oh is that really pork? I’d like to try some of that! And what a steak!” because really! All I can think about is food these days. I know Noah drains me of virtually everything I put in (108 lbs nursing 27 lbs – who’s gonna win?) but my goodness.

Whatever. Anyway, I enjoyed a leisurely walk outside in such nice weather and decided that I would see what Subway’s $3.99 sandwich of the day was. I normally get turkey on wheat every time I go in but I was hungry and $3.99 is a good deal for Subway…it didn’t matter in the end because apparently, Wednesday is turkey breast day. Yummy. I don’t think I’ve eaten out, alone, not in the car, since…um, ever. No, really. I didn’t get my license until last July and by then, Noah had already been born. It was kind of a novelty. (I suppose it’s possible that I have but it’s highly unlikely.)

After Subway, I did my rounds at Kroger (Saved $40 without trying. Huh. I miss heavy couponing.) where I met up with Nana, Sarah and Noah. By that time I was about to lactate through my shirt if I saw another little boy with his mom because I missed him so much. Apparently he missed me, too, because he leaped into my arms and snuggled his head into my shoulder. It’s enough to melt one’s heart…

Unfortunately, when he’s that clingy, I can’t put him down to pay for groceries. Nana and Sarah came to the rescue, yet again. =P He did well in the carseat on the way home but I may have bribed him with my cell phone. (What? It works, okay?)

Then…home and Joshua and sleep, blissful sleep, 8 hours of it and it’s even worth a messed up sleep schedule to have that solid stretch of sleep again. We all needed it. And as guilty as I felt about letting Noah go out without me for 4 hours (Mom-guilt; it’s a real syndrome.) I desperately needed the alone time without worrying that he was okay because even though he does fantastic with his Dad, I don’t do fantastic knowing he’s at home and I’m out. Can you tell my emotions have been a little brittle lately? I’m on a freaking roller coaster these days.

Tonight/this morning (it’s 3 AM, after all), I did the lemon-pepper chicken again. I wasn’t going to. I was going to make a yummy stir fry and brownies but it’s just so easy and simple and I’m a (ha ha) chicken. It was good though. ;-)