I usually have a goal. It can be anything – from something I want to succeed at cooking or a trip I want to take. It doesn’t matter. I’ve just always had a goal.

And yet lately…no goal. Nothing. Just an intent to do something I like every day, even if that means playing NeoPets while my head is throbbing (being sick is no picnic). (Yes, I play NeoPets again.) The funny thing is…I find that I’m far more relaxed when I don’t feel like my home needs to fit someone else’s standards. I find that I am far happier when I enjoy my husband and my son. It hasn’t mattered that each day just flies by – I’m enjoying it and I’m happy and that is all I need.

Money is tight. No might be about it – it is is tight. But we’re happy, this little family of three, and we love each other and we enjoy each other. Besides, one day, hopefully soon (I’m sure you understand why I say that regardless of how I feel), Joshua will be off to work and I’ll have my hands full at home without him here and we will miss each other. We always do, when he’s working outside of the home. It’s strange to go every day with your best friend for company all the time but it’s even stranger when you lose that constant companionship. Sure, it will be different and not nearly as lonely, because Noah will be here and my time will be occupied with teaching him and playing with him and caring for him but I’ll still miss Joshua.

So right now, I’m just enjoying the memories I am making with my two boys. I love spending time with them and there will never be another time in our life together like this. Noah has had a chance to bond with his father in a way that not many kids get to do and that is a silver lining worth the storm clouds. Joshua and I have our youth and our energy and our Noah and we’ve been given this golden opportunity to be together that we may not – likely will not – always have.

I think I can honestly say that I am happy.