Some people tell me just to let it go. Not brush his teeth until he’s old enough to be reasoned with and I wish I could do this. If he wasn’t predisposed to cavities and if he was nightweaned, I might let it go if he’s having a particularly rough night, like tonight. Unfortunately, he IS prediposed to cavities and he ISN’T nightweaned. He’s already had two difficult procedures done and I will do whatever I can to prevent another.

I just can’t help the thoughts that come to my mind when I’m brushing his teeth. Is he traumatized from his experiences with the dentist? Does he think I’m betraying him? Can he possibly understand that this is for his own good and that I don’t get any pleasure from forcing this on him?

Right now, I feel like both the best mother in the world and the worst. I reassure myself that I’m doing the right thing but it is so difficult. *sigh* I did let him “brush” my teeth earlier and it was so hilarious to him that I might be able to work something out where he brushes mine as I brush his. If that doesn’t work, I’m liable to break down in tears tomorrow morning.

Oh, and as an aside, we bought Sensodyne toothpaste today. I’m already noticing a difference so I hope it will help my teeth as far as brushing goes.

Today, however, I went to the dentist (I’m starting to feel like I’m always in that chair one way or another) and had my tooth filled. I was a nervous wreck last night and this morning and I felt like I was going to pass out or throw up or both while waiting in the office for my name to be called. The dentist did an excellent job on my tooth though, as far as I can tell. You can’t even really tell there was ever an issue with that tooth, much less one that almost made me lose a prominent front tooth. I do have to admit that I love Hoobastank for the assistance though. The drilling really gets to me so I turned the music up as loudly as I could stand it and thought about everything but the work the dentist was doing. Unfortunately, there is still so much more than needs to be done and as soon as we have the money or insurance (or both), I will be. Yuck. I think there’s two extractions and two root canals with crowns in there somewhere…not to mention a dozen or so fillings. *sigh* And Dr. P’s office tried to say it wasn’t genetic!

Whatever. Afterwards, we went over to Shannon’s house and I looked through a ton of clothes she had set aside out of Joe’s closet. We have clothes for Noah from 3T through size 6; mostly play and house stuff but it’s all nice and I’m relieved to have them. It’s one thing to buy a few quality pieces for nicer events but it’s quite another to try to outfit an entire wardrobe for a boy that grows in feet, not inches (I’m not sure I’m exaggerating). There was quite a lot to go through, have I said that before?

I also went through all of the boxes in their storage closet. I wiped out our wedding box – stuff either went into the yard sale pile or the trash bin and I saved a whole ziploc baggy worth of items (Dad’s candle, a couple of bells, a picture, a piece of my dress and two small flowers). Joshua and I kept our Bride/Groom champagne flutes and my wedding bouquet (that I made) but those are always on display. I felt really good about paring down because I know three years ago I couldn’t have done it. Now, I just want what we do keep to matter to me, not to the story they might hold some day.

There were quite a few boxes that needed to be consolidated or weeded through and we did that. We have a decently sized stack of boxes in there still, along with our coats and luggage, but they are all packed and ready to be loaded into the moving van. I’m grateful that my in-laws are so generous with their storage space. I wish I had decluttered a lot sooner but I don’t think I was really ready until more recently. This move certainly kicked my butt into gear as far as keeping stuff on hand goes.

So that’s our day. Joshua, Noah and I got home, ate chili (using our pantry stores) and watched Bewitched. Noah took a two hour nap, played in his playroom and finally crashed around 1 AM (mostly because he had such a late nap today since he refuses to sleep at Shannon’s house).

I’m happy. I feel like this move is sanctioned by God for multiple reasons. I’m excited to see my family, to get back on our feet and to get into a new place. One more month!

They had a big aquarium in their waiting room, which was Noah-approved.

The office wasn’t really set up for kids, as Dr. P also takes adult patients (in fact, I believe he primarily takes adult patients) so there weren’t any toys or anything to keep him occupied. I brought a few but because they weren’t brand new, they didn’t hold Noah’s attention long when he could otherwise be exploring! So that’s what he did.

He’s such a ham, really. It’s impossible to be bored around Noah. Not only does he run you ragged but he also thinks making you laugh is hilarious…so he tries (and succeeds) to do so as much as possible. Have I mentioned that I’m blessed?

Anyway, Dr. P came out into the waiting room to speak to us before heading to the back. I actually really appreciated this, as it gave us a chance to talk before Noah was a squirmy little bugger (I think he does this because most kids fuss and scream when they get back there). He did ask us why we were there, in case it was just a case of Paranoid Parent Syndrome, but when I told him Dr. Z recommended that we get Noah seen ASAP and that his tooth was already chipping/crumbling, he nodded and brought us to the back. Of course, Noah wanted to be led to the room by none other than his pretty new friend (ie: the dental assistant), where he continued to flirt with her.

(Don’t you think these two are the handsomest boys around? Because I do.)

Unfortunately, when we got down to business, Dr. P pointed out that Noah not only had a huge cavity and some major decay on the top right tooth (his left), it had spread a little to his three other top teeth. Thankfully, he thinks those are salvageable, especially if Noah is fed no sugar (fruit is okay) and sticks to just water and milk. The fourth tooth, the one that’s been chipping and has been the source of my worry for all these weeks, is probably not. He isn’t entirely sure if the entire tooth has to come out or if it needs to be worked on, and he won’t know until the day of the surgery.

Yup, surgery. You heard me. Well, it’s surgery because he’s being put under anesthesia, where Dr. P is going to attempt to clean and discern what all needs to be done and then do it (with our permission, of course). We have a pre-op to attend with Dr. Z and with the hospital but I really like our local hospital (wonderful maternity ward, seriously) so I am confident that this should go smoothly.

I feel terrible. Even though I brush his teeth and avoid sugar and try to do everything “right”, something still went wrong. I still gave Noah my bad teeth (it’s thought that he may have my weak enamel). *sigh* If it isn’t one thing, it’s another.

Beating myself up isn’t going to help though. All I can do is cut sugar out of his diet, make sure he eats healthy and brush his teeth. Dr. P told me that to save my own teeth, I probably need to cut sugar out of my diet – especially soda. *gulps* I know he has a point. I see his point. I don’t like his point…but I am going to do it anyway. If not for me and the fact that I don’t want to lose half of my teeth by my 25th birthday (which is getting closer and closer…yikes), then for Noah, because the cavity causing bacteria can easily get transferred from me to him (or from Joshua to Noah or Joshua to me to Noah or what have you).

It’s a good thing we’re trying to be healthy anyway, right? Right? And smoothies are made of fruit, so they’re okay…right?

Bleh.

All in all, I think I like Dr. P. He only made mama bear come out once and that was when he seemed completely clueless that people nurse their kids until the age of 2. (What would he have said if I told him about the ones that nurse until 3 or 4 or even 5, I wonder?) I think I surprised him a little when I said the World Health Organization, American Academy of Pediatrics and Dr. Z all think 2 is an excellent weaning minimum. I also flat out said that 2 was my ultimate goal and I would do my best to get there. He seemed to relax when I said that we are focusing on trying to nightwean (for multiple reasons – his teeth and my sanity are neck-in-neck for first place right now) because that’s when the milk pools in Noah’s mouth, causing the rot. (I realize there are naysayers about this but when you have my genetically bad teeth, this is a valid issue.) I did really appreciate how Dr. P was willing to teach me about teeth and growth and milestones as opposed to just telling me what was good for right now.

So, we’ll see how this goes. I pray to God, for Noah’s sake, that this is a relatively easy fix. I hope we can save his teeth for the long run. I hope he doesn’t have my issues. I hope we can raise him healthy.
And I hope this week stops continuing in the same pattern and just gets better already.