I know that I’m excited about going back to my old church. Now that I am a mother, I have no interest in drama or cliques. I just want my son to grow up in church and participate in Awana’s and have friends his age. I don’t care who slept with who or who accidentally got pregnant “out of wedlock” or, for goodness sakes, who just came out of the closet. I just. don’t. care. I’m excited to go to services preached by a pastor I fully respect. I am excited to see familiar faces. I am excited to be in a house of God.

My walk has been so rocky for the past few years. My faith in God was really shaken up by some events that I don’t really talk about and I have a hard time letting go of controlling my life. However, this move has really made me rethink my beliefs and just how much faith I can put into him. We needed a certain amount of money and we got it. Our car broke down and we received the necessary funds from a surprising source. All of these little problems crop up and solutions present themselves in the most subtle of ways but they are no less powerful.

For example, Joshua and I were in Starbucks today, bartering with a book reseller over some of our old commentaries and Bibles. I was talking to the man’s wife about our move and why we were moving and there was a lady reading her book that kept watching us but I thought nothing of it at the time. You see, in public, I am not ashamed to play with Noah or dance to overhead music with him. I am quite flamboyant about having fun with my little boy. This usually brings stares so it’s not something new to me. It never occurred to me that she might be paying closer attention than usual until the couple we were selling books to left. Then she walked up, handed Joshua a $20 bill and said, “God bless you in what you are trying to do”, then rushed back to her book and barely acknowledged our thanks (not in a bad way).

After something like that, how does one NOT believe in the power of God and the love that he instills in his children? So you see, my walk with God is in an entirely different place than it was a year ago or even a month ago. I have no idea what’s going to happen when we move. I have no idea where we’ll be a few months from now…but I firmly believe that we’ll be happy and content in due time.

Now, I have so much to say that I don’t know where to start! I’m also terrible at writing anecdotes and remembering things that aren’t written as “and then, and then, and then” statements.

But, I’m going to attempt, since if I don’t I’ll beat myself up for it later. Here goes:

We are moving in less than two weeks. It’s here: Crunch Time. We’re frantically packing, even though we *tried* to be prepared and pack ahead of time and get whatever we could done. We’re cramming visits – tomorrow some friends from Atlanta are coming down and then we’re having dinner with Joshua’s mom and siblings (Sarah and Scot are coming up from Florida), then we need to make another visit out to Joshua’s Grandmommy. Not to mention we need to pack the rest of our apartment and clean so we can cheerfully hand over the keys next Thursday. (Oh. my. God. Next Thursday. Holy cow.)

Thankfully, we’ve spent a lot of time with Joshua’s parents this past week. The yard sale was Friday and Saturday so we went over Wednesday to help set up and pick Noah up after a Nana Playdate, and then went back Thursday to finish setting up and spend the night. We didn’t get home until Sunday morning. Noah had a blast the entire time as he played outside on the plasma cars and rough-housed with his uncles. The poor boy has two skinned knees, two skinned elbows and bug bites. He was so covered in dirt Friday that I had to hop in the tub with him to get him clean enough.

Oh, yes, for some reason Noah stopped taking baths alone. He promptly freaks out and tries to climb out of the tub. It does seem to be getting better, thankfully, as the last time I gave him a bath (yesterday), he continued to play even after I got out. Phew!

He’s such a character though, seriously. Last Thursday, we were outside and he was calling for “Daddy” and I said “Josh!” to get Joshua’s attention. Noah grins and starts saying “Josh! Josh! Jooosh!” over and over. We figured it was just a one-time thing, or maybe he thought it meant “come here!” but Joshua did something later – I can’t remember what – and Noah goes “Jooosh…” like he’s scolding him. Goofball.

He’s also saying two word sentences which is just awesome. He looooves avocado which is great for his anemia and he’s been doing better about getting food and drinking juice.

I really do get this stuff written down, I swear, but Twitter and Livejournal are so easy because I don’t feel like I have to be coherent or put effort into writing a full entry. That, and LJ is for certain eyes only. ;-)

Well, I think I’ve successfully written an entry. It may be all over the place and badly written but I’m calling it good, for now.

Besides, when I moved out here for Joshua, I knew I wouldn’t want to retire here or stay forever. I like it just fine – small towns have their charms, especially this one – but I don’t like the school district or the extreme isolation (The Pioneer Woman would laugh her tush off at me right about now if she were to read this – as if). Moving away was inevitable and this way, we can get back on our feet and let my family enjoy some time with Noah while he’s young. I know that I’ve been worried that my grandmothers wouldn’t bond with him appropriately (though it seems they already did) and I’ve been worried for my mom, who has been in quite a bit of emotional pain that she couldn’t see Noah grow up this past year and a half but now that will change.

However, money, or rather the lack thereof, is our primary driving force. Joshua and I don’t seek to be rich. We simply want to be debt-free and stable. There is scripture about how you cannot serve two masters and I do feel that debt sometimes gets in the way of my relationship with God. (Most of the time its my beef with certain “holes” in scripture but I’m working on those.) I long for the day that I can save up for a purchase without feeling the niggling guilt that the money should go towards paying off a credit card.

Anyway, before I ramble on like I usually do, there is my update. If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you’ll probably be spammed with my pingback links. Sorry. You should know better than to follow me. ;-)

Last Friday, while we were house-sitting, Joshua’s grandmother (Mimi) ended up in the hospital due to an allergic reaction to her medication. We went to pick her up and Joshua took her car to the apartment to clean up while Noah and I took her home (she lives with Joshua’s parents). It was on our way back that we got into a wreck.

Yes, you heard me correctly. I was in my very first accident that involved another car and I just so happened to be behind the wheel.

An 18-wheeler (18w) was headed towards me and the driver was in my lane. I slowed down but he showed no signs of stopping so I had to swerve and eventually slam on my brakes. Even though I had gone from about 45mph to 20 mph, the car behind me couldn’t stop in time and slammed into me. The 18w was gone by then and the other driver came up to me with a bewildered expression, asking what I was doing. I told him I was avoiding a head-on collision with the 18w and proceeded to call 911. His wife kept glaring at me and looking pointedly at her kid, like I didn’t have a child of my own to think about. By that point, I had already verified that Noah and Mimi were okay…my first thought, as soon as I felt the other car hit, was of Noah. I was terrified the truck wouldn’t stop in time but thankfully Noah was just surprised by the bump and was more interested in playing with his hackey sack.

Anyway, long story short, the state patrol came out (Joshua followed shortly after) because we were technically on a residential highway run by the state. It was deemed to be the other driver’s fault and our insurance companies are busy figuring out all of the details. His truck was hardly scratched but our trunk is crunched up pretty good. I replaced Noah’s carseat within two hours of the accident and Joshua had fun destroying the old one with his drill. ;-)

I hope that our trunk can get fixed but even if something goes wrong, I am just thankful to God that we are all okay and that our car is driveable. It could have been SO much worse and as terrible as I feel about what happened, I know it was the better of two options. Joshua pointed out that we would not likely have survived a head-on collision with an 18-wheeler at 45mph.

The rest of the week, up until today, has been just as hectic and I’m just thankful to be home, in my own bed, next to my husband. Tomorrow (today, really) we’ll be heading back out to his parents’ house for a few hours to celebrate Shannon’s birthday (Happy Birthday!) but our weekend plans are Rest, Relax and Rejuvenate!

Oh, and before I just spring it on here…I will be rehauling my site a little bit. I have been trying very hard to fit into some sort of niche so I could get visitors that would come back and tell me how much I don’t suck and how cute my kid is and blah blah blah. Unfortunately, that means editing who I am a little bit and that seems wrong. This is my site, for me, for my memories and archives and catalogs. In the end, when I’m re-reading this entries years down the line, who is going to still be around? Me. And I don’t want to censor anything anymore.

That means that I’ll be importing my Neopets entries to the main blog. It also means I may post a ton of pictures here, too. It also means that there might be, *gasp*, cussing! (I might as well be a sailor. Really. Sorry…kinda.) Well, not so much cussing, because I’m trying to set an example for my son, but if something slips I’m just warning you not to be surprised.

So here I am. I really want to stick with this site because I’ve enjoyed blogging alongside my husband and in the midst of so much turmoil in my life, I need something light and easy. Wish me luck.

Soon after that, Joshua and I took him into the water! Ohhh he liked that. At first he was mad because he wanted to keep playing with the sand but then he saw that there was a huge bath tub with more sand and he wanted to get in. I had bought a panda float for him to chill out in and he thought it was the bee’s knees to splash in the water while being toted around the…water.

I should interject and say that the beach we took him to isn’t really a beach, exactly. It’s more like a big lake with sand on the people-accessible area, as it’s smack dab in the middle of Callaway Gardens. Gorgeous scenery, clean water that, with the sun out that day, was the perfect temperature. This means there aren’t huge waves or lots of salt or crabs or anything, which is nice.

After swimming, (at this point he had on a white shirt and his hat in addition to his *gasp* Imse Vimse swim diaper!), he plunked down to play with the sand some more. Then he got brave and started wandering around, (under the watchful eye of three adults, mind you), exploring the different sand (wet versus dry) and eating sweet potatoes (out of a jar – Noah is currently back to eating purees to minimize pain and damage on his tooth). I did end up taking Noah out one more time but for the most part, he hung out under the umbrella, playing with sand. He learned very quickly that he didn’t want to eat the very neat new toy (ugh, and I thought I didn’t like grits) so whatever kept him happy made me happy.

Plus, since he’s such a pale kid, we were worried about him getting sunburned. I applied sunblock liberally throughout the trip and made sure he was in the shade as much as possible.

It was such a success, and Noah loved it so much, that we’re going again on Friday. I’m really excited because I had a TON of fun. I had bought a new bathing suit a few weeks ago from JCPenney for about $13 (after store credit, sales and a coupon – originally $68!) and I LOVE it. I mean I really do – I tried it on just for kicks and knew the second I saw myself in the mirror that I just had to have it. I will be using this swim suit for a long time, that’s for sure. It really helped my self esteem to know that I can still knock guys over (or rather, one guy in particular…) after carrying Noah. Actually, to be entirely honest with myself, my stomach is in pretty good shape. The only thing that holds me back from wearing a bikini is my stretch marks…well, that and my sense of modesty. I just don’t see the need to flaunt it – I’ve got my man. ;-)

Anyway, swimming was incredible. I missed being in the water. I used to swim every single summer day in Houston (when it wasn’t raining – and even then, sometimes I did on those days, too) because I loved it so much. The last time I went swimming I was about five months pregnant and Noah didn’t like being submerged in water like that. I guess the pressure irritated him because he would squirm and roll and push and make it really uncomfortable. I couldn’t really take baths either, that’s how bad it was. So swimming was a real treat. I plan to start going to our local community pool next week for some extra exercise.

All in all, I had high expectations for this summer and even if it’s pretty dull from here on out (Hah!) I’m satisfied. I even got a bit of a tan, finally! Joshua, on the other hand…