I was going to write about Doctor Who and my thoughts about the show. Sarah spent the night yesterday and while the four of us were out today, driving near the town cemetery, we joked that we should buy adjoining burial plots with a weeping stone angel that had “Don’t Blink” carved on it. Personally, I think it’s an awesome idea…but I probably wouldn’t go through with it because even my corpse would be scared to blink. ;-) Blink is such a fantastic episode but it really sends chills down one’s spine.

However, I’m not going to write about that tonight. I’m not going to describe the delicious BBQ chicken we had for dinner or the movie we watched. I’m just going to rant.

There is a reason I practice Attachment Parenting. I might complain and whine and vent about how crazy Noah makes me when he’s all “MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY” *cling* but the truth is, I love how close we are. I firmly believe that by giving him a secure foundation as a baby/young child, he will grow up to be a strong, independent adult. My mother practiced Attachment Parenting with me, though she didn’t call it that (I think she just called it “mothering” or “being a parent” – what a novel concept.) and I’ve always been fairly independent. Whatever “issues” I have stem from my parent’s divorce and subsequent bickering…usually on my father’s part, God rest his soul. Because of my own experiences, I hope that by passing on the mother/child (or father/child, as Joshua has an equally important role in Noah’s upbringing as I do) bond to my son, he will have the same confidence when he is older.

One of the most important aspects of AP is to provide “consistent loving care.” What this means is mostly open to interpretation – every parent is going to parent differently, even those under the same umbrella. For me, it means that I respond to my son when he needs me. As a baby, I didn’t let him cry anywhere but in someone’s arms (usually mine). I wore him when we went out so that he would feel the comforting warmth of my body and be securely wrapped in a sling, like he was in the womb. Even now, I carry him when I’m exhausted and my arms are burning because he wants me to. I don’t think he’s manipulating me or that he’s being spoiled…if he wants something he can’t have, I say no and I put it away. Sometimes he’ll throw a fit and that’s okay. It is never, EVER, okay for him to throw a fit because he wants to be held and someone won’t hold him. I get angry when I see a child crying that obviously just wants a kiss and a cuddle but Caregiver is too “busy” or “can’t be bothered.” I hate hearing “oh they’ll be fine” when a toddler wants to be held. They are just babies, really…not three or four year-olds that have learned to self soothe, can walk and even articulate what they are feeling. Why should I, as a mother, deny my child the comfort of my arms? For that matter, I expect the same of anyone that watches Noah…and as far as I know, his Nana and YaYa (so far, Noah’s only sitters) abide by this. Joshua certainly does.

Not that we’re perfect. If I am frustrated enough, I will sometimes put Noah in his playroom, which is completely safe, and walk away for a minute. I will leave him in the seat of the grocery basket for a few extra minutes if he fusses at me because it gets us through the grocery list faster and that means we can just go home and get him in bed. I even let him have independent play! A lot of it! Because he enjoys it!

But I never, ever, let him scream and cry for his mama or dada if I can help it because right now is just so important. Some people argue that if something does happen to Mom or Dad, then all of this “security” is worthless. However, I don’t think so. As long as I am on this earth, Noah will always have me. If I’m not on this earth, that situation changes – obviously – but there is no need to prepare him for the latter until he gets older. Just like I don’t live every day in constant fear that I will die, I don’t raise my son to worry that I won’t be around…because I am. Does that make sense?

I don’t judge people for their parenting choices. I don’t really care if someone formula feeds, but I’ll gently encourage a new mother to breastfeed. I don’t really care if you cloth diaper or use disposables (though I’ll show you how cute a cloth diaper can be!). I don’t even care if you feed your kid a month or two early…though I might tell you about open gut first (just in case). I do, however, feel strongly about being there for your child. Responding to them. They might be learning tricks to manipulate you but it isn’t going to be because they want to be held – that’s just called communication.

Now excuse me while I go snuggle my son who is asleep on my arm and watch Hell’s Kitchen.